"Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law."
(Proverbs 29:18 NASV)
In this proverb, the Hebrew word "para" -- "unrestrained" is also translated "carelessly," "perish" and to "make naked" in other versions. It speaks of what happens to people who are unable to control themselves. It's a sense of vision, destiny or future rewards that brings self-control into a person's life.
It speaks of people who are able to put off instant gratification in order to attain future rewards. Many years ago, a friend of mine had a poster that pictured a sprinter lined up for a race. It read, "He has trained a life-time for the next ten seconds."
Interestingly, the same Hebrew word "para" is used to describe the activity of the Israelites who fell into apostasy when Moses was up the mountain receiving the Ten Commandments (Exodus 32:17-28) . The New American Standard translates this word as "out-of-control" verse 25. Moses had been up the mountain some time, and the Israelites were getting antsy. In Exodus 32:1, we read they were were no longer able to wait and demanded Aaron make an idol to be their god (probably Baal) and then threw themselves into an all-night orgy.
David Brooks in his article, What Marshmallows can teach us about life, writes about the work of researcher Walter Mischel who studied the importance of self control.
Mischel conducted a series of interesting experiments on human behavior in the early 1970s. He put individual four-year olds in a room with a marshmallow and bell. He told them that if they wanted to eat the marshmallow right away all they had to do was ring that bell and Walter would come in and eat it with them. However, if the child waited until Mischel returned on his own, the child could have two marshmallows.
He then videotaped the child alone with the marshmallow. Throughout the session the four year olds employed various strategies to try to control themselves: They would cover their eyes, kick their feet and squirm.
Some lasted only a minute before they rang the bell, others lasted as long as 15. After tabulating these results, Mischel tracked the children as they grew up.
What he found was that children who demonstrated more self control in the experiments and could delay gratification for the bigger reward:
- Had higher scores on their SAT exams
- Had higher marks in college and generally did better as an adult
The ones who showed little or no self-control had different tendencies:
- They had the greatest tendency to become bullies
- They tended to have poorer parent/teacher evaluations
- They tended to have more problems with drugs at age 32.
Mischel discovered that self-control is essential for success. If students had self-control they were able to sit through boring classes. They avoided drugs and teen pregnancies. They focused on the larger long term reward, instead of the smaller short-term reward of "instant gratification."
Those who demonstrated little self control, dropped out of school for the quick money. Their life was characterized by a series of rash decisions leading to crime, delinquency, pregnancy and drug abuse.
Mischel found the children with the strongest self control didn't resist it through sheer force of will power (i.e. staring at the marshmallow and resisting the temptation). Instead they were able to control their appetites by focusing their minds on other things.
Another encouraging aspect of his study was that children could easily improve their self control with a bit of work and help.
Source: What marshmallows can teach us about life by David Brooks, The National Post May 8, 2006 / New York Times
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