 WASHINGTON, D.C. (ANS) -- Nationally-syndicated columnist and pro-family champion Rebecca Hagelin says your family is under attack from other adults who don't share your family, religious, or spiritual values.
Hagelin is a nationally syndicated columnist and has championed the pro-family message in Washington and around the nation for 25 years. She is a syndicated columnist for Townhall, author of 'Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That's Gone Stark Raving Mad', former Vice President and current Senior Communications Fellow for The Heritage Foundation, and appears frequently on FOX, CNN, CBN, and other network and radio programs as a cultural and media analyst. She is a frequent guest speaker for parent, religious, and civic groups across the country. (ANS Image: Pro-family author/advocate Rebecca Hagelin)
Hagelin says that as an example of how American families are under attack from those who don't have your children's best interests at heart, video games have hit an all-time low -- making children even more vulnerable.
According to Hagelin, American gamers can now get the Japanese video game, 'Rapelay' -- which allows players to stalk and commit sex crimes against a mother and her daughters. While the game is not available in U.S. stores, kids can access it online.
Hagelin, author of the new book '30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family', says this is another sign of how important it is for parents to step in and understand they are the first and only line of defense for their children.
"90 percent of all kids on the Internet will be subjected to the sexual images and the perverted values of online pornographers, and it all happens under your roof," says Hagelin. "The good news is that this is one of many problems parents can fix in a matter of minutes."
Hagelin's new book, '30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family' shows parents how they can stop feeling overwhelmed and immediately start fighting toxic culture, time constraints, and technology to shape their own child's life.
A media release says: "It's a practical, 30-day plan for busy parents who want to help their children have a safer and happier childhood while setting their children on the path to become responsible, and healthy adults.
"Hagelin has created an easy and effective way for all busy moms and dads to navigate parenting challenges, fight back against a corrupt culture, and strengthen their relationship with their son or daughter -- all in just one month."
In the book, Hagelin gives practical advice to help parents tackle everyday problems, including:
- ** Learning how your kids can be unknowingly exploited online, being aware of what your kids are doing on social networking sites online and having good Internet screens and filters.
- ** Fighting back against manipulative marketing campaigns designed to target your children using sex. Walking past stores like Victoria's Secret or Abercrombie and Fitch provides the perfect opportunity to talk with your kids about how manipulative advertising shouldn't affect their choices in their own lives.
- ** Few parents feel like they really talk to their children. Prove to your teen you love them and care with a letter. It may become their most valued possession and start true communication.
The media release says '30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family' is filled with simple steps that parents can use to truly make a difference in their children's lives.
"Hagelin helps parents tackle today's two biggest parenting challenges: maintaining a good relationship with your child while overcoming the contaminated culture that bombards our kids," the release states.
In her book, Hagelin lays out a strategy for protecting your children.
Understand How Marketers Target Your Children:
Challenge: "Today's kids are the most marketed-to generation in history. They spend an estimated $200 billion a year of their own money so they are very profitable targets for exploitation and manipulation. Combine this with the frequently manifested modern parental desire to be their children's friend, and you can see why marketers compete like never before for the attention of these sophomoric spenders.
"So fierce is the competition for their cash that modern marketing techniques have become, in many cases, insidiously evil. Selling to tweens isn't about finding out what they want-it's about figuring out how to manipulate their minds." (p. 37)
Tackle This Today: "Don't walk silently past that Victoria's Secret display at your local mall. Tell your kids why it's wrong. Ask your children pointed questions about the TV shows and movies that interest them. Find out what they think -- so you can spark discussions that will give you a chance to tell them what you think -- and why." (p. 43)
Create Family Time:
Challenge: "Do you know your family? You may think that's a silly question. 'Of course we know each other,' many parents would reply. 'We live under the same roof. We see each other daily. We go on vacations together. How could we not know each other?'"
Some research, however, suggests that many parents and their children are, in an important sense, almost strangers, Hagelin says.
"One major study, sponsored by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, comes from the UCLA Center on Everyday Lives of Families -- and it paints a portrait of family life in crisis. It reports that the time many families spend together is crammed with wall-to-wall activities. Mothers and fathers ferry their kids feverishly about -- a play date here, a practice there, not a moment to spare -- tethered by cell phones and sustained by meals on the run. You can't really know your children if all of your time with them is spent running to and fro in a frenetic whirlwind. Genuine intimacy is impossible under such conditions." (pp. 57-58).
Tackle This Today: "How do we restore balance to our frantic family lives? Make a point of injecting some downtime into it -- heck, schedule it. Go for a walk -- not a power walk, but a slow one. Play a game together, preferably a board or card game, with everyone sitting around the table and interacting. "Realize, too, that not every activity must involve the whole group. Take that walk or play that game with one son or daughter. Give everybody a turn. In time, you'll find yourself having real conversations with the people who matter most. And don't neglect your spouse! A regular date can really help strengthen your marriage" (pp. 60-61)
Write A Letter To Your Teen:
Challenge: "As children turn into teens, many parents find it difficult to express the deep love, warmth, and vision that we have for them. The fact is, a sullen teenager is hard to connect with! As moms and dads, we often forget that what our teens crave more than anything is genuine love, thoughtful words, and encouragement from us.The hopeful news is that research shows that teens desperately want parental affirmation, approval, and love. Although they may appear to be like bricks -- cold and indifferent to your advice and counsel -- they are actually more like seeds that are capable of tremendous growth when planted in a nurturing environment and constantly watered with words of love, encouragement, and counsel. Such words are never more powerful than when they are written down. But, my goodness, how many parents have ever written their child a single letter? My guess is that most moms and dads have never penned more than a few words on a birthday card. As valuable as th! ose cards may be, they are not enough." (pp.85-86)
Tackle This Today: What your letter should include: Here are some few thought starters:
- A Clear Statement of Your Love.
- Your Vision Statement for Their Future.
- A Prayer for Them.
- A Warm Memory You have of Their Childhood.
- Positive Words About Them as People.
- Any Admissions of Your Mistakes or Failings in Your Relationship With Them.
- A Strong Commitment to be There for Them, Regardless of the Circumstances that the Future May Bring" (pp. 87-89)
Obtain A Reliable Internet Filter:
Challenge: "According to a study by the London School of Economics, nine out of ten children who go online (by the way, many of them just doing their homework) will view pornography. A 2006 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows that seven out of ten view the porn unintentionally -- at least the first time.Think about it -- 90 percent of all kids on the Internet will be subjected to the sexual images and values of the perverted pornographers that are rampant in the e-world. And, tragically, according to a 2006 report by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, one out of three children who view pornography are doing it intentionally.
"I believe there should be a protected space in childhood where kids don't have sex forced upon them -- physically or mentally. And, for crying out loud, if you as a mom or dad aren't building that space in your own home, how on earth can we expect them to have it anyplace else? Let me be clear: If your kids consume hard-core pornography in your home via the internet, you are the one to blame. The fantastic news is that this is one problem you can easily fix." (pp. 233-234)
Tackle This Today: "There are now several reliable, inexpensive filters you can download in minutes onto your computer. You can find them at Focus on the Family (www.family.org ), the American Family Association (www.afa.net ), and Web Wise Kids (www.webwisekids.org ). I've researched many filters and one of my favorites is available for www.bsafe.com . It only takes a few minutes and few keystrokes to download the filter directly onto your computer. The cost is about 50 bucks a year, and the system is updated constantly so it stays ahead of the porn industry's attempts to out-smart filtering systems.Think about it: we go to great lengths as parents to secure our doors and windows at night -- yet, for far too many parents the open portal of the internet allows every kind of perversion to enter our homes-and! to attack the innocence and sensibilities of our kids.So what are you waiting for?" (pp. 235-236)
In a recent interview with Hagelin, ASSIST News suggested that most parents feel overwhelmed and may be close to giving up because the negative culture is too powerful. We asked Hagelin how will her book change their minds and allow them to come up with a solution to this problem?
Hagelin said: "30 Ways in 30 Days is a message of hope...and of action! It shows parents exactly how they can tackle real problems that they face. The methods and tips work -- you just need to the will to do them. The world tells you to give up, give in and walk away...but that is a defeatist attitude and causes many parents to miss out on the joy of parenting. You can have the joy if you strengthen the relationship with your kids and equip them to make their way in the world -- and 30 Ways in 30 Days shows you how."
ASSIST News asked Hagelin what makes this book unique from all of the other parenting books out there on the shelves?
"30 Ways identifies the common problem areas parents face in raising kids in today's crazy culture -- and it offers real solutions parents can take today. The chapters are short and to the point -- containing both real-life inspiring stories and clear action steps. I encourage parents to look through the table of contents, find the subject they need the most help with, and read that chapter first. The answers to the challenges you face are right there just waiting for you."
In her book, Hagelin talks about how today's families are busier than ever and how it is easy to say you are tired and set your values aside. Hagelin says she, too, is guilty of doing this. How can parents overcome this big challenge?
"One of my most important chapters is called, 'Create Family Time' -- it's all about deliberately going through all the activities your family members are involved in -- and replacing the meaningless ones with more family time. I also have a chapter about the need to create a daily quiet time -- we've just got to free ourselves from the frantic pace and be deliberate about spending time with the ones we love. Before you know it, your kids will be walking down that graduation aisle and out your door...your time with them is brief. Grab every minute with them that you can."
In Hagelin's book, she expresses the difficulty of connecting with a teenager, and there are plenty of parents out there who will agree with her. However, she also says that research shows that teens desperately want parental affirmation, approval, and love. ANS asked Hagelin: "What is the best advice you can give parents who are willing to do anything to connect with their children?"
"Make yourself vulnerable. Make yourself available. Be there for your child. So many parents are afraid that their teens will reject them that they don't initiate conversation. The reality is that your teen craves your affection -- he longs to know that you are interested in his life. But he's not going to take the first step -- you have to. And you have to do it consistently and in love. I have four chapters that teach you how to communicate on different levels with your children. And the methods work. I know...I've had three teens myself!!"
Children are surrounded by negative marketing everywhere they go, especially when walking past stores like Victoria's Secret or Abercrombie and Fitch. What advice does Hagelin give parents to help them fight off the marketers trying to target your children using sex and how that manipulative advertising can affect them?
"Let your voice be heard. When parents are silent in the presence of immorality -- raunchy movies, violent video games, or dumb pictures of girls in their underwear in the mall -- our kids interpret our silence as endorsement of the behavior. After all, if something is bad...mom will protect me and tell me...won't she? In my chapter,'Understand How Marketers Target Your Children' I show parents how to help their kids recognize when they are being manipulated by media and marketers -- and how to fight back."
Children and teens are much more involved with technology and gadgets than most of their parents are. This intimidates and scares a lot of parents. ANS asked Hagelin what can parents do today that will leave them feeling more comfortable when their children surf the net?
"The number one solution is also the easiest -- get a reliable Internet filter. And get it today. I've researched the best filters and explain the reasons why you must have one -- NOW! I use the filters from www.BSAFE.com on all of my computers. It takes only a few keystrokes and a few minutes to download the filter from www.BSafe.com -- and for about 50 bucks a year your entire family is protected from pornography, viruses and unwanted spam. There are many other tips in '30 Ways in 30 Days' about how to keep our families safe in the midst of technology -- but the first step is to get a reliable filter right now."
FOX News commentator Sean Hannity, who has known Hagelin for some time, says: "I've known Rebecca for many years, and her knowledge about cultural issues, the media, and the pressures on today's kids is vast. Her writings and speeches have encouraged many parents and families over the years, including mine. Even though her message is a somber one, Rebecca's spirit is lighthearted and optimistic -- and her book provides practical solutions that, if put into practice, will strengthen each member of your family as well as the unit as a whole."
Readers can order the book and sign-up to receive weekly e-mails with news and tips about the culture battle and parenting at Hagelin's main website www.HowToSaveYourFamily.com .
"They can also view media appearances and keep up with my book tour," said Hagelin.
She said it is also important to purchase the book right away -- "It's been holding steady in the #1 spot of parenting books on Amazon this first week and it is critical to keep it there through Sunday -- the first week of a book is very important."
She added: "This is a great book for small group study, for Sunday school classes, and to purchase for mother's day for your neighbors."
Hagelin and her husband have three children and live in Arlington, Virginia. She can be reached at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
or visit her website at www.30WaysBook.com .
** Michael Ireland, Chief Correspondent of ANS, is an international British freelance journalist who was formerly a reporter with a London (United Kingdom) newspaper and has been a frequent contributor to UCB Europe, a British Christian radio station. Michael has traveled to Albania and the former Yugoslavia, Holland, Germany and the former Czechoslovakia, Israel,and Canada. He has reported for ANS from Jordan, China, Russia, Jamaica, Mexico, and Nicaragua. Michael's volunteer involvement with ASSIST News Service is a sponsored ministry department -- Michael Ireland Media Missionary (MIMM) -- of A.C.T. International at: Artists in Christian Testimony (A.C.T.) International.
Used by permission www.assistnews.net
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